My friend's daughter is turning 15 next week. I remember when the little baby arrived fresh from the adoption agency just a few days old, the joy at having a brown baby girl to round out the mixed family before the hidden abuses became too severe to hide anymore and the family ruptured irrevocably.
It was a shock that I was privy to long before it became public when the stigma grew so loud that none of the parties could safely remain associated to the church community that had nurtured them and vowed before God and these witnesses to pray for them and to hold them accountable to their own marriage vows. As if knowing God was enough to prevent adultery, incest, and abuse - think of King David as a single example of a man whose very public worship life didn't keep him from having to face all of those issues very publicly...
As a people of faith, don't we routinely violate the principles of the God we proclaim and doesn't that muddy the waters of every on-looker who is desperate to find answers, truth, justice, acceptance, forgiveness, healing and the space in which to be him or herself?
When I attend the celebration of this girl's birthday I will remember the first time I held her knowing that with very few exceptions, I am one person who connects to that painful time with love. I wonder whether she will remember her Creator with gratitude or whether her view of Him is distorted through the lens of her losses so that she has yet to sense His pleasure.
Terry Soldan, the fictitious Pastor's Ex-Wife, lived through the juxtaposition of authentic faith in a loving God and an abusive family, let the sham break into a million pieces and began again - limping with the help of some unlikely friends - towards a normal life. Her two children suffered too but have yet to bump head on into the fact that sin twists our perspectives and that abusive but forceful religiosity laces the twist with all kinds of poison dipped barbs. Maybe someday in some sequel they will have the courage to examine their mother's side of the story.
You can read Pastor's Ex-Wife by Lesley Barker on the Kindle. If you don't own a kindle, you can download the kindle ap for free to your computer desktop or smart phone and then you can buy the book in the Amazon Kindle Store here.
About Me
- Lesley
- I have discovered that walking a very narrow path leads to broad places of peace, contentment, and provision. I work as a freelance consultant in the areas of cultural heritage, public history and museums, From 2009-2016, I was the executive director of the Bolduc House Museum in Ste. Genevieve, Missouri, (now called New France - the OTHER Colonial America, an eighteenth century French colonial historic site and National Historic Landmark.) My PhD is from the University of Leicester's (United Kingdom) Department of Museum Studies. My research looked at the interpretation of diversity at the American Historic House Museum. I also developed and facilitate an inspirational program for Christian grandparents, Gathering Grandparents.
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